Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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