what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
