It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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