wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
