How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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