im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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