theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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