Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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