wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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