Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I party with great urgency now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
