This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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