halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
