I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
