32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
