ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize