Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
