We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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