third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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