I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
