Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
