After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
