I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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