69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
