i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize