butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
