We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Congratulations! We have a period
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