I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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