Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize