Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
