Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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