I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
