I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
did i walk over a car last night?
There's always time for handjobs
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize