hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
