His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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