do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
