did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
