i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
