you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
