Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
