I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize