Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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