i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
