i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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