Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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