Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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