Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
