He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize