Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
