ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
