I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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