Please, let me fuck your mom
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
