He told me they were just razor bumps!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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