Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
