I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
