So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
