I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
