he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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